8gua Reporter sneaked into Ms Sue U. Nowl's Lawyer room to uncover a letter sent by Big Bad Wolf to sue the Three Little Pigs! Here's the letter containing alot of visible grammer and spelling mistakes he typed:
D3Ar LAwy3r sUE,
i am thE biG gOOD wolF, aND I wanT 2 suE thE tHREe p1gS. th3y PLOnk me 1N A PoT oF hOT SOuP AnD EVen TrEatEneD tO MuRDEr ME! LEt mE RElaTE 2 u wHART HADDENeP.
mEE Am TAK1ng A str0ll iN THe fEiLD WhEN Mee sEES a PLUmp pIG cARRyinG sOMe hAY. p1GS aRE tOO faTTy aND hARd TO ChEw oN anD I pREeFer FRUitS sOO mEE dUN sEE AnY rEEsON tO fEASt ON TheM. SO mEE CONtinueeD tO WAlK. WheN mEE CamE BaK FrM MEE WALK, meEE SuddEENDY fEeL ThEE urGE TO p33 s0 I KOck ON a YELlow hoUSe NEArbY aND WharT DO mEE sEE? A plUMB PinK PiG. mEE REallY WaNT tO PeE sO I AskED thE pIG. ' LITtle PIg LIttLe PIg LEt ME pEE.' hEe slamM tHE DOor IN mEE FaCE ANd sENt sooT UP mEE NOSe. iT mADe ME SneeZE, AnD DuEE 2 ThEE loUSY waY THee HOUse waS bUIlt IT tOPPleS. ThEE pIGG RaNN AwAYY SCReaamiiNN hEELp FoRR sOMME reASON! sOO mEe hADD 2 rUN tO tHE NeEEaREst HoUSE To gEEt A TOlieT.
tHE 2Nd hOUse MadE OF sTIcKS TUrnEd Out TO B aNOTHeR PluMB pIGs HOuse. I AskED ' LITtle PIg LIttLe PIg LEt ME pEE.' aGAiN BuT lYK ThEE pREEvIOUs PiG hEE sLAMmed THe dOoR IN mY FacE, wHIcH sENT dUSt in MY nOSe AgaIN. oUT CamE A hUGe sNeeZE aND DoWN CamEE tHE hOUsE. Itt waSNT mE FaUT, iT WAs tHe bAD qUALiTY oF THe sTIckS. SO mEEE WATchh tHE SiLLy SpaASTiC piGS RunNIn AWayYY fRM Mee SHoUTIN hEllP!
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mEE cROSSed lEGed 2 THee NEXt neaRESt hOuSe MaDE oF BRIcKS BeloNGIN tO AnOTheR Pig. i aSKeeD "LITtle PIg LItTLE pIG LeT Mee IN mEE wANa..." WIfoUT WAitIIN fOR Mee T0 fINIsh HE sAID nO. bY ThaT tIME mEE rEEALy cuDNT cONTRolll mYS3Lf sO mEE WenT Up tHE CHimNEY wHicH ResSEmBLeS A tOILeT BOwl. mEe SeAt oN It aND PeEE D0wN. As mEE RELAx aFTEr mEE uRINee cONTaINer wAS CLearED mEE HeeaVE a SIgH Of rEALEVe. aS mEE ExhALE, mEE smeLl SOmEE DusT FRom tHE cHIMney ANd snEEZed aGaIN, WHIch sENt mE ShoOOtiN DwN tHE ChiMNey ANd lANDin ON tO SUm tHInG h0t!! aT FeRS mEEee thUOgHT I haD LanDEd in2 A pIGS bATH And inVADed tHEm prIVACY, so mEEe sCReaMED, anD INstEAD oF SCReamIN ThE duST gOT InTO My THRoaT ANd mADe ME whEEEzEE. mY WhOOpIN CouGH MaDE Me SHOoT Up tHE CHimNEy aGAin.
whEN mEE Got lANd on 2 SAAfee GRoUNds mEE sHiVeRs aND lIcKED mEeeSeLLF alL OVeR 2 cLEaN mEEsELf aND fOuND tHaT mEE hAdd TaSteD lIkE VeGetAblE sOUP. tHE pIGs apPEaReNtlY wAnTEd mE DEaD aND tRieD tO cOOK mEE. iT WaS LuCKy i hAd HaD a WhOOpIn CoUgH. aS mEE rAn AwaY fRoM tHe horRRibLE pIGS hOuSe mE cUD hEaRS tHEm LaFFiN at mEE. sO tHIS iS mY stORY aND sINCe tHEn mEE HaD nVr bEEN aBLE tO sEaT on A ToIIlET bowL WiFoUT thE nID oF a rOUnd sWimIn TuBE. mEE sHAlll sEnT u a PixTuRe oF mY bURnT rEd bUtt sOOn.
mEE HoppEE u cANN dOO jUSTicE fOR a PooR gOOD wOLF lIkE mE. iM an InnOcEnt GoOOd wOlF wHO oNI wANteD tO pEE. mEE nIDDs tO attEMPT to tAKE a PIxTurE oF mEE BuTt aS eVidENce. mEE shALl eND tHIs lEttEr wITh cOnsOlEncEs aND hOpE tHAT yOOU wouD Do JUStICEe fOR mE.
YouRS tRUThLy
bIG gOoD wOLf
And so ends the letter by Mr Big Good Wolf. He apparently was typing on an very old typewriter and has not learnt his English well. Will Lawyer Sue be willing to help out Mr Wolf? Will he really send in a picture of his backside? Is Mr Wolf a Good Guy or a Bad Boy? Tune in to 8guaNews to find out!!
Note from the writer: HELLO ppl! i hope ya'all dun mind the delay in the posts. this post took me 3 days to finish which explains the delay! i hope u lyked my efforts to make it look lyk a real wolf's letter. ciaociao, and hope u all lyked it! and welcome MOK into 8guaNews editor!! she wud b postin in this blog oso so clapclap for her! *clapclapclapclapclapclap* haha =D