Monday, February 26, 2007

_ STORY TIME! _

10:53 PM

The following story was written by Vanessa and her senior, Kelicia. I hope all of you enjoy it! (:

Once, there lived a man called ManMan. He was married to a woman named WoWo. Soon, WoWo despised ManMan for not being rich and did not like him. But ManMan truly loved WoWo and did not want her to leave him. So he pushed WoWo off a 13-storey HDB flat and flung himself off the building as well. When other people heard about their tragic tale, they thought that they were really dumb and stupid. And since the people thought that being dumb and stupid was cool, they followed suit and jumped off the building too. So the whole area was covered in blood, making it a real bloody mess.

The bloody mess was, in actual fact, what really happened to Red Hill. The swordfish story was a lie made up, just to deceive the young, innocent and learning children of the world. Those innocent children have been deceived for years and as they read this story, they will finally find out the truth.

Then blood spurted out of the eyeballs and intestines, flooding the whole hill. At that moment, Sang Nila Utama arrived. A bloody looking beast appeared right in front of him suddenly, giving him such a fright, causing him to almost jump out of his skin. But no, he didn't jump out of his skin. So, you think it was a lion he saw? No. What he saw was the TREE MONSTER. This tree monster consisted of the branch monster and leaf monster, which actually meant that it could separate itself into 2 different monsters. The tree monster told Utama, "You are ugly. You should go shave your arm pits." Then Utama retorted. "Ni you hen shao mao meh?"* The tree monster then replied, " You are a NORBIT." Utama was upset to hear that and said, "You meanie." And he went off to a corner to cry. Then Farquhar came along and told Utama that he was fat. Raffles came too and told Farquhar, "You are not skinny either." So the 3 of them quarrelled. On the top of a tall building.

AND SO HISTORY REPEATED ITSELF.

The 3 men threw themselves off the building while confronting each other about each other's size.

*This means "You have a lot of hair meh?" in Mandarin.

SO? What do you think of this FANTASTIC story? Very creative right! (:

HOW ABOUT A ROUND OF APPLAUSE?!
audience: *boos* NOOO! WE DON'T WANT TO KILL OURSELVES!
WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU?
audience: *streams out of hall*


Sunday, February 25, 2007

_ _

2:02 AM

The following story is written and edited by the admins of 8gua-1hope namely JANE and VANESSA. This story was in the alternate style, meaning the first line was written by JANE and the following line was written by VANESSA and so on and so forth. PLEASE PAY FULL ATTENTION TO THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ. (oh yes. we wrote this because we didn't know what else to post. IT'S A WEEKEND LA.) -

There was once a knight in red shining armor and yellow checkered underwear going to town to seek his fortune, carrying his rusty metal chopstick as sword and rusty wok as shield. He tried to cook a scrumptious meal on the way to town, but his food all got burnt up by the hot sun so he gave up and went to town for some serious butt-kicking action, but to his disappointment, all he got was some butt-punching games. He was punched in the butt and got really angry so he escaped the mayhem and saw a notice which said: go to hell and rest in peace. He did and jumped from a nearby cliff and was rescued by a dragon flying by. The dragon was a really friendly and kind creature and brought the knight to his den. The dragon kissed him on the spot. No one knew why the dragon did that! Together with his gay dragon, the knight set out to get himself a princess wife. He searched for days and nights and at last, he found his true love. But the princess was not a true lover as she did not love the knight, and instead fell in love with the gay dragon. When the knight found out how the princess felt, he killed himself out of disappointment and anger. True to the notice, he landed in hell and lived happily ever after there. So now, the princess and the gay dragon are living happily together in the latter's den. They got themselves a lot of king sized beds, got married. They lived happily ever after.



COME ON PEOPLE. just say it's the best story ever written! BESTEST!
*audience applauds*
COME ON. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!
*audience applauds till wrists fly out*
AWW COME ON! YOU GUYS CAN DO THAT EVEN BETTER!
*audience give standing ovation and they clap themselves together*
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! (:

thank you thank you.
*flying kisses* xxmuackiesxx


Thursday, February 22, 2007

_ Introducing Garywalk club and RAINbow club! _

10:22 PM

Lets give a warm round of applause for Gary Club and RAINbow! (NOTE: RAINbow club is just a club wildly created by the ADMINS and does not include any members of 1Hope. It is there for all sorts of gossips you want, as we can't do that on real people for fear of breaking their hearts.) Members of Gary Club are: GaryWalk, GaryCrawl(Wok), GaryRun, GarySwim and GaryThrow. The founder of this wonderful club is *ahem* (We do not wish to reveal.) The purpose of this club is unknown, and a member, being interviewed, says," I duno leh. this club is for wad arh. No idea sia! haha!!! i oni noe WE ARE NUTS."
Members of RAINbow includes: ORANGEbow, PURPLEbow, GREENbow, REDbow and BLUEbow. They specialise in singing, and their current favorites is "Superwoman." Our Prodders are currently working hard to poke out more news to satisfy your 8gua-ing needs.
STAY TUNED FOR MORE GOSSIPS!


Monday, February 19, 2007

_ B-Day Girl! _

3:19 PM

Heres wishing vAnEsSa MoK
hApPy Bday To YoU!!!
haha. blue purple and purple again. =D


Saturday, February 17, 2007

_ Interview with QingMaMa on Batman in her house issues! _

2:49 PM

Today, 8gua-r jAnEe interviewed QingMaMa regarding the Batman in her house.
(Note: jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr is jAnEe and happy chinese new year !!!! is QingMaMa.)
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
u noe last time we saw the bat in ur home flyin past
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
oh
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
yah
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
okok
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
yah
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
wat?
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
u alw see the bat flyin around de arh?
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
yah
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
y?
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
he ever stop by instead of flyin past ur hse be4?
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
no
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
haha
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
hav u ever seen big flocks of them flyin or juz 1
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
1
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
Oooo
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
interestin...
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
haha
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
1 oni
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
?
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
really?
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
i dunno
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
yah

jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
do u hav any pumpkins in ur hse
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
no -.-
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
haha
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
really?
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
is there a funny person or a joker in ur hse?
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
yesh

jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
whaaha

happy chinese new year !!!! says:
NO PUMPKINS
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
hahhaa
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
any joker or funi ppl
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
as in?
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
lyk
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
alw make funi funi actions or say funifuni word
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
words haha
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
oh
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
haha
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
no
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
no phycotic people round there
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
haha
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
lol
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
wad abt ur dog?
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
my dog?
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
like ?
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
psychotic
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
LOL
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
-.-
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
hana
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
-.-
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
hahaha
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
wad hana
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
is she psychotic

happy chinese new year !!!! says:
huh?
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
he male or female
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
LOL
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
WHO
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
?
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
who?
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
ur dog
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
NO
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
hahah
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
nomonoonono
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
ok maybe
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
BUT NO
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
haaaaa
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
boy or girl
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
oh
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
male
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
hahah
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
ooooo iccc

happy chinese new year !!!! says:
hahaha
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
aiyo
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
this year thn see bats or alr hav for as long as u can rmbr
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
um when i move here got bats LIVING outside the house like hanging at the corner there

jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
WA!!
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
WAW!!
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
nw still hav anot?
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
no
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
cause i buy my dog
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
then he everyday bark at them then they fly away
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
haha
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
wahaha
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
-.-
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
some weird dog u hav thr
jAnE-- i am a ¤´¤ß¤Ð¤³. scattered birdshyt. LOL hApPy ChInEsE nEw YeAr says:
hahah
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
haha
happy chinese new year !!!! says:
yah
(The rest of conversation is not concerning Batman Issues so is not included in this article.)
Looking at this interview, we can conclude that the Batman is not looking for any jokers or pumpkins. He might be secretly loving QingMaMa's maid, but did not dare to say so. QingMaMa's maid had brown colour skin, ponytail and resembles that of Batwoman(?!), according to JaneMaMa, who had seen both maid and bat before. But we can safely reassure all Batwoman or QingMaMa maid's fans that this might not be true as JaneMaMa suffers bad memory and bad taste. Speaking of taste, readers would like to know that Batman have a bad taste too, for choosing a maid instead of QingMaMa. (QingMaMa says that she agrees when she was shown the previous quote, and JaneMaMa would like to add that she is glad an ugly creature like Batman did not choose any of her friends to secretly admire at, as she would not want to see Batman's name fringed in hearts in the notebooks of her friends.) Batman, having secretly peeping at QingMaMa's maid, might have been scared off by QingMaMa's dog (JaneMaMa would like to add that she is glad the dog was present as she would not like to see Batman's face popping out of nowhere just to peep at the maid in her next visits QingMaMa's house. She also would like to extend a warm word of thanks to QingMaMa's dog.) and transformed into Bat form, as seen constantly flying in the house in search of his lover.
The above conclusion is just a conclusion (JaneMaMa would like to add DUH.) and if you readers out there have any other possible conclusion please email xchaosdark@hotmail.com. (JaneMaMa would like to add HEY. That is MY email. im charging fees of 1 million mesos if you overload my inbox!!!) Tune in to 8guaNews for more news and gossips!



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Friday, February 16, 2007

_ Saturday Happenings! _

6:30 PM

     8GuaNewsDaily     10February2007
 
THE DIRECTOR OF EDMMT: A MOMMY ALREADY?
  It is rumoured that MokMaMa and JaneMaMa's Mommy is actually the director of EDMMT. She was seen with both her daughters walking in Junction 8 choosing presents for QingMaMa. She sported a pair of huge earrings, denim skirt, green shirt, high-heels and let her hair down, which supports the fact that she is MokMaMa and JaneMaMa's Mommy. She was heard to deny the fact when a saleslady at MiniToons asked if she was their Mommy, but the saleslady did not seem convinced although she did not prod any further. Is the director of EDMMT really MokMaMa and JaneMaMa's Mommy? Stay tuned to 8guaNewsDaily to find out!!
 
DISCOVERED!! CHILDISH MEMBERS OF EDMMT FOUND AT PIRATEPLAYGROUND!!
  Members of EDMMT are caught playing at a PiratePlayground in a Country Club today. Not heeding the sign that says people below one metre is not allowed to enter, they entered nonetheless. Even the rumoured Mommy went in, but she frantically took photos of them, which poses no harm to the public. But the other members actually played there. When JaneMaMa was interviewed, she said, "Aww, it was fun, a must visit. But got parents complain ley, so very unsafe, must look out for them very MaFan, so i advise u to check tt coast is clear before entry."
 
BAT FLYING IN QINGMAMA'S HOUSE
  A bat flew past the heads of QingMaMa's and her guests. The bat, might have beenstopping by to check out the surroundings, apparently hearing news that the "Joker" is in QingMaMa's house. Seeing no Jester Hat and Pumpkin Mobiles anywhere around her house, he left with a swish of its wings. JaneMaMa said, "The bat comfirm Batman in disguise. Aiya, so "suay"! I really hate Batman lor, his face so "Qian Bian" one, and if really got his enemy in QingMaMa house arh, I tell u I will help the baddies and smack the Batman. HAHAHAHA." Is that Bat really Batman in disguise? Stay tuned to 8guaNews, as we prod into QingMaMa's house to find out!!
 
Advertisement: Use Golgate for fresher and healthier teeth! It turns your teeth white as bleach and works best on toothless-people. For instant results apply the whole tube onto your teeth and leave still for two days.   GREAT REVIEW ON GOLGATE: "Its FANTASTIC. I see white spaces in my teeth immediately after use, and those blackened teeth were gone. Now all i have is rows of white clean teeth, and not a spot is black. but i advise you to prepare a dustbin as when the effect is taking place, it's very dirty. 100% no blood. MUST TRY."
 
Short note from the Editor: HELLO to all who reads my article! I juz wana ask if u all get wad i mean in the advertisement. if u dun understand why its gruesome and disgusting i suggest u use ur BRAIN more and ASK less. (Hint:  "but i advise you to prepare a dustbin as when the effect is taking place, it's very dirty. 100% no blood." wad else do i mean whn i say that? if u dun use Golgate, got blood anot, and why? THINK ABT IT CAREFULLY. HAHA) for real "DOOFS" who still dun get it, go see a doctor or ask sumbody, as long as its not ME. Lastly, hope u enjoy my posts and no offence to all those ppl included in any article!! BBB!!
 


Thursday, February 15, 2007

_ BIG NEWS: Big Bad Wolf writes to lawyer to sue Three Little Pigs! _

10:34 PM

  8gua Reporter sneaked into Ms Sue U. Nowl's Lawyer room to uncover a letter sent by Big Bad Wolf to sue the Three Little Pigs! Here's the letter containing alot of visible grammer and spelling mistakes he typed:
 
D3Ar LAwy3r sUE,
  i am thE biG gOOD wolF, aND I wanT 2 suE thE tHREe p1gS. th3y PLOnk me 1N A PoT oF hOT SOuP AnD EVen TrEatEneD tO MuRDEr ME! LEt mE RElaTE 2 u wHART HADDENeP.
  mEE Am TAK1ng A str0ll iN THe fEiLD WhEN Mee sEES a PLUmp pIG cARRyinG sOMe hAY. p1GS aRE tOO faTTy aND hARd TO ChEw oN anD I pREeFer FRUitS sOO mEE dUN sEE AnY rEEsON tO fEASt ON TheM. SO mEE CONtinueeD tO WAlK. WheN mEE CamE BaK FrM MEE WALK, meEE SuddEENDY fEeL ThEE urGE TO p33 s0 I KOck ON a YELlow hoUSe NEArbY aND WharT DO mEE sEE? A plUMB PinK PiG. mEE REallY WaNT tO PeE sO I AskED thE pIG. ' LITtle  PIg LIttLe PIg LEt ME pEE.' hEe slamM tHE DOor IN mEE FaCE ANd sENt sooT UP mEE NOSe. iT mADe ME SneeZE, AnD DuEE 2 ThEE loUSY waY THee HOUse waS bUIlt IT  tOPPleS. ThEE pIGG RaNN AwAYY SCReaamiiNN  hEELp FoRR sOMME reASON! sOO mEe hADD 2 rUN tO tHE NeEEaREst HoUSE To gEEt A TOlieT.
 
  tHE 2Nd hOUse MadE OF sTIcKS TUrnEd Out TO B aNOTHeR PluMB  pIGs HOuse. I AskED  ' LITtle  PIg LIttLe PIg LEt ME pEE.' aGAiN  BuT lYK ThEE pREEvIOUs PiG hEE sLAMmed THe dOoR IN mY FacE, wHIcH  sENT dUSt in MY nOSe AgaIN. oUT CamE A hUGe sNeeZE aND DoWN CamEE tHE hOUsE.  Itt waSNT mE FaUT, iT WAs tHe bAD qUALiTY oF THe sTIckS. SO mEEE WATchh tHE SiLLy SpaASTiC piGS RunNIn AWayYY fRM Mee SHoUTIN hEllP!
  *Next Page*
  mEE cROSSed lEGed 2 THee NEXt neaRESt hOuSe MaDE oF BRIcKS BeloNGIN tO AnOTheR Pig. i aSKeeD "LITtle PIg LItTLE pIG LeT Mee IN mEE wANa..." WIfoUT WAitIIN fOR Mee T0 fINIsh HE sAID nO. bY ThaT tIME mEE rEEALy cuDNT cONTRolll mYS3Lf sO mEE WenT Up tHE CHimNEY wHicH ResSEmBLeS A tOILeT BOwl. mEe SeAt oN It aND PeEE D0wN. As mEE RELAx aFTEr mEE uRINee cONTaINer wAS CLearED mEE HeeaVE a SIgH Of rEALEVe. aS mEE ExhALE, mEE smeLl SOmEE DusT FRom tHE cHIMney ANd snEEZed aGaIN, WHIch sENt mE ShoOOtiN DwN tHE ChiMNey ANd lANDin ON tO SUm tHInG h0t!! aT FeRS mEEee thUOgHT I haD LanDEd in2 A pIGS bATH And inVADed tHEm prIVACY, so mEEe sCReaMED, anD INstEAD oF SCReamIN ThE duST gOT InTO My THRoaT ANd mADe ME whEEEzEE. mY WhOOpIN CouGH MaDE Me SHOoT Up tHE CHimNEy aGAin.
 
  whEN mEE Got lANd on 2 SAAfee GRoUNds mEE sHiVeRs aND lIcKED mEeeSeLLF alL OVeR 2 cLEaN mEEsELf aND fOuND tHaT mEE hAdd TaSteD lIkE VeGetAblE sOUP. tHE pIGs apPEaReNtlY wAnTEd mE DEaD aND tRieD tO cOOK mEE. iT WaS LuCKy i hAd HaD a WhOOpIn CoUgH. aS mEE rAn AwaY fRoM tHe horRRibLE pIGS hOuSe mE cUD hEaRS tHEm LaFFiN at mEE. sO tHIS iS mY stORY aND sINCe tHEn mEE HaD nVr bEEN aBLE tO sEaT on A ToIIlET bowL WiFoUT thE nID oF a rOUnd sWimIn TuBE. mEE sHAlll sEnT u a PixTuRe oF mY bURnT rEd bUtt sOOn.
 
  mEE HoppEE u cANN dOO jUSTicE fOR a PooR gOOD wOLF lIkE mE. iM an InnOcEnt GoOOd wOlF wHO oNI wANteD tO pEE.  mEE nIDDs tO attEMPT to tAKE a PIxTurE oF mEE BuTt aS eVidENce. mEE shALl eND tHIs lEttEr wITh cOnsOlEncEs aND hOpE tHAT yOOU wouD Do JUStICEe fOR mE. 
                                         
                        YouRS tRUThLy
                         bIG gOoD wOLf
 
 
  And so ends the letter by Mr Big Good Wolf. He apparently was typing on an very old typewriter and has not learnt his English well. Will Lawyer Sue be willing to help out Mr Wolf? Will he really send in a picture of his backside? Is Mr Wolf a Good Guy or a Bad Boy? Tune in to 8guaNews to find out!!
 
  Note from the writer: HELLO ppl! i hope ya'all dun mind the delay in the posts. this post took me 3 days to finish which explains the delay! i hope u lyked my efforts to make it look lyk a real wolf's letter. ciaociao, and hope u all lyked it! and welcome MOK into 8guaNews editor!! she wud b postin in this blog oso so clapclap for her! *clapclapclapclapclapclap* haha =D


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_ BIG NEWS: Big Bad Wolf writes to lawyer to sue Three Little Pigs! _

10:33 PM

  8gua Reporter sneaked into Ms Sue U. Nowl's Lawyer room to uncover a letter sent by Big Bad Wolf to sue the Three Little Pigs! Here's the letter containing alot of visible grammer and spelling mistakes he typed:
 
D3Ar LAwy3r sUE,
  i am thE biG gOOD wolF, aND I wanT 2 suE thE tHREe p1gS. th3y PLOnk me 1N A PoT oF hOT SOuP AnD EVen TrEatEneD tO MuRDEr ME! LEt mE RElaTE 2 u wHART HADDENeP.
  mEE Am TAK1ng A str0ll iN THe fEiLD WhEN Mee sEES a PLUmp pIG cARRyinG sOMe hAY. p1GS aRE tOO faTTy aND hARd TO ChEw oN anD I pREeFer FRUitS sOO mEE dUN sEE AnY rEEsON tO fEASt ON TheM. SO mEE CONtinueeD tO WAlK. WheN mEE CamE BaK FrM MEE WALK, meEE SuddEENDY fEeL ThEE urGE TO p33 s0 I KOck ON a YELlow hoUSe NEArbY aND WharT DO mEE sEE? A plUMB PinK PiG. mEE REallY WaNT tO PeE sO I AskED thE pIG. ' LITtle  PIg LIttLe PIg LEt ME pEE.' hEe slamM tHE DOor IN mEE FaCE ANd sENt sooT UP mEE NOSe. iT mADe ME SneeZE, AnD DuEE 2 ThEE loUSY waY THee HOUse waS bUIlt IT  tOPPleS. ThEE pIGG RaNN AwAYY SCReaamiiNN  hEELp FoRR sOMME reASON! sOO mEe hADD 2 rUN tO tHE NeEEaREst HoUSE To gEEt A TOlieT.
 
  tHE 2Nd hOUse MadE OF sTIcKS TUrnEd Out TO B aNOTHeR PluMB  pIGs HOuse. I AskED  ' LITtle  PIg LIttLe PIg LEt ME pEE.' aGAiN  BuT lYK ThEE pREEvIOUs PiG hEE sLAMmed THe dOoR IN mY FacE, wHIcH  sENT dUSt in MY nOSe AgaIN. oUT CamE A hUGe sNeeZE aND DoWN CamEE tHE hOUsE.  Itt waSNT mE FaUT, iT WAs tHe bAD qUALiTY oF THe sTIckS. SO mEEE WATchh tHE SiLLy SpaASTiC piGS RunNIn AWayYY fRM Mee SHoUTIN hEllP!
  *Next Page*
  mEE cROSSed lEGed 2 THee NEXt neaRESt hOuSe MaDE oF BRIcKS BeloNGIN tO AnOTheR Pig. i aSKeeD "LITtle PIg LItTLE pIG LeT Mee IN mEE wANa..." WIfoUT WAitIIN fOR Mee T0 fINIsh HE sAID nO. bY ThaT tIME mEE rEEALy cuDNT cONTRolll mYS3Lf sO mEE WenT Up tHE CHimNEY wHicH ResSEmBLeS A tOILeT BOwl. mEe SeAt oN It aND PeEE D0wN. As mEE RELAx aFTEr mEE uRINee cONTaINer wAS CLearED mEE HeeaVE a SIgH Of rEALEVe. aS mEE ExhALE, mEE smeLl SOmEE DusT FRom tHE cHIMney ANd snEEZed aGaIN, WHIch sENt mE ShoOOtiN DwN tHE ChiMNey ANd lANDin ON tO SUm tHInG h0t!! aT FeRS mEEee thUOgHT I haD LanDEd in2 A pIGS bATH And inVADed tHEm prIVACY, so mEEe sCReaMED, anD INstEAD oF SCReamIN ThE duST gOT InTO My THRoaT ANd mADe ME whEEEzEE. mY WhOOpIN CouGH MaDE Me SHOoT Up tHE CHimNEy aGAin.
 
  whEN mEE Got lANd on 2 SAAfee GRoUNds mEE sHiVeRs aND lIcKED mEeeSeLLF alL OVeR 2 cLEaN mEEsELf aND fOuND tHaT mEE hAdd TaSteD lIkE VeGetAblE sOUP. tHE pIGs apPEaReNtlY wAnTEd mE DEaD aND tRieD tO cOOK mEE. iT WaS LuCKy i hAd HaD a WhOOpIn CoUgH. aS mEE rAn AwaY fRoM tHe horRRibLE pIGS hOuSe mE cUD hEaRS tHEm LaFFiN at mEE. sO tHIS iS mY stORY aND sINCe tHEn mEE HaD nVr bEEN aBLE tO sEaT on A ToIIlET bowL WiFoUT thE nID oF a rOUnd sWimIn TuBE. mEE sHAlll sEnT u a PixTuRe oF mY bURnT rEd bUtt sOOn.
 
  mEE HoppEE u cANN dOO jUSTicE fOR a PooR gOOD wOLF lIkE mE. iM an InnOcEnt GoOOd wOlF wHO oNI wANteD tO pEE.  mEE nIDDs tO attEMPT to tAKE a PIxTurE oF mEE BuTt aS eVidENce. mEE shALl eND tHIs lEttEr wITh cOnsOlEncEs aND hOpE tHAT yOOU wouD Do JUStICEe fOR mE. 
                                         
                        YouRS tRUThLy
                         bIG gOoD wOLf
 
 
  And so ends the letter by Mr Big Good Wolf. He apparently was typing on an very old typewriter and has not learnt his English well. Will Lawyer Sue be willing to help out Mr Wolf? Will he really send in a picture of his backside? Is Mr Wolf a Good Guy or a Bad Boy? Tune in to 8guaNews to find out!!
 
  Note from the writer: HELLO ppl! i hope ya'all dun mind the delay in the posts. this post took me 3 days to finish which explains the delay! i hope u lyked my efforts to make it look lyk a real wolf's letter. ciaociao, and hope u all lyked it! and welcome MOK into 8guaNews editor!! she wud b postin in this blog oso so clapclap for her! *clapclapclapclapclapclap* haha =D


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_ Saturday Happenings! _

10:32 PM

     8GuaNewsDaily     10February2007
 
THE DIRECTOR OF EDMMT: A MOMMY ALREADY?
  It is rumoured that MokMaMa and JaneMaMa's Mommy is actually the director of EDMMT. She was seen with both her daughters walking in Junction 8 choosing presents for QingMaMa. She sported a pair of huge earrings, denim skirt, green shirt, high-heels and let her hair down, which supports the fact that she is MokMaMa and JaneMaMa's Mommy. She was heard to deny the fact when a saleslady at MiniToons asked if she was their Mommy, but the saleslady did not seem convinced although she did not prod any further. Is the director of EDMMT really MokMaMa and JaneMaMa's Mommy? Stay tuned to 8guaNewsDaily to find out!!
 
DISCOVERED!! CHILDISH MEMBERS OF EDMMT FOUND AT PIRATEPLAYGROUND!!
  Members of EDMMT are caught playing at a PiratePlayground in a Country Club today. Not heeding the sign that says people below one metre is not allowed to enter, they entered nonetheless. Even the rumoured Mommy went in, but she frantically took photos of them, which poses no harm to the public. But the other members actually played there. When JaneMaMa was interviewed, she said, "Aww, it was fun, a must visit. But got parents complain ley, so very unsafe, must look out for them very MaFan, so i advise u to check tt coast is clear before entry."
 
BAT FLYING IN QINGMAMA'S HOUSE
  A bat flew past the heads of QingMaMa's and her guests. The bat, might have beenstopping by to check out the surroundings, apparently hearing news that the "Joker" is in QingMaMa's house. Seeing no Jester Hat and Pumpkin Mobiles anywhere around her house, he left with a swish of its wings. JaneMaMa said, "The bat comfirm Batman in disguise. Aiya, so "suay"! I really hate Batman lor, his face so "Qian Bian" one, and if really got his enemy in QingMaMa house arh, I tell u I will help the baddies and smack the Batman. HAHAHAHA." Is that Bat really Batman in disguise? Stay tuned to 8guaNews, as we prod into QingMaMa's house to find out!!
 
Advertisement: Use Golgate for fresher and healthier teeth! It turns your teeth white as bleach and works best on toothless-people. For instant results apply the whole tube onto your teeth and leave still for two days.   GREAT REVIEW ON GOLGATE: "Its FANTASTIC. I see white spaces in my teeth immediately after use, and those blackened teeth were gone. Now all i have is rows of white clean teeth, and not a spot is black. but i advise you to prepare a dustbin as when the effect is taking place, it's very dirty. 100% no blood. MUST TRY."
 
Short note from the Editor: HELLO to all who reads my article! I juz wana ask if u all get wad i mean in the advertisement. if u dun understand why its gruesome and disgusting i suggest u use ur BRAIN more and ASK less. (Hint:  "but i advise you to prepare a dustbin as when the effect is taking place, it's very dirty. 100% no blood." wad else do i mean whn i say that? if u dun use Golgate, got blood anot, and why? THINK ABT IT CAREFULLY. HAHA) for real "DOOFS" who still dun get it, go see a doctor or ask sumbody, as long as its not ME. Lastly, hope u enjoy my posts and no offence to all those ppl included in any article!! BBB!!
 


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

_ Mok is now one of 8gua-1hope's blog authors. NEXT TO JANE. _

11:57 PM

8GuaNewsDaily 13February2007
hi. EVERYONE! mok here! (: hahaha! i've gotten the permission from jane to help her to post here. but i am sure everyone here, would think that OF COURSE JANE HAS MORE FUNNY AND NICE THINGS TO POST ABOUT RIGHT! (:
ABUTHEN. :D:D yep. so. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO POST.
Tuesday's Happenings.
AHHHH!
JANE I NEED YOUR HELP! XD
so.. TOMORROW IS VALENTINE'S DAY! (:
EVERYONE IS BUSY MAKING AND PREPARING GIFTS FOR THEIR LOVED ONES.
gosh! aren't they like SUPER MADLY CRAZILY NICE?!?! ABUTHEN! hahaha! but me, being the ungrateful sort. MAYBE EVEN EVIL. would not return a gift. like do i look like i wil.
:D:D okay. i need my sleep. BYE!


Friday, February 9, 2007

_ Interesting Bits and Bites of events happening in 1Hope. _

11:23 PM

--> The highly respected monitor of 1Hope is down with fever! Classmates
and fans are praying hard that she gets well soon. According to the very
short interview, the monitor says she is feeling better. That was all the
interviewer could ask before the monitor went Inactive and Logs Out soon
after.
--> Good News for LifeAccents fans! DS, aka DownShud, reveals that she is
recovering from her sorethroat and blocknose, and happy to remind loyal fans
that the "sexy" and "squeaky" voice is GONE. "Begone, you fool of a flu!" DS
was heard to say after she blew her nose into a NTUC brand 3-ply tissue and
stuffs it inside her "Mucus Bottle", used to contain her rubbish.( Contains
mostly NTUC brand tissue smeared with the deadly flu virus of DS. ) Some
fans are actually worried because they seemed to like her "sexy" voice
better, even though DS cannot sing any high-pitched notes with it. DS hints
that she might be having another performance soon once the neighbourhood
clinic approves of it.
--> English teacher, Ms Tan, was shocked out of her skin during reccess.
She was walking down the stairs when suddenly two notorious clowns from her
class (namely Vanessa Mok and Jane Koh) greeted her 'elegantly'. " Good
Morning Ms Tannnnnnnn............" they were heard to say a few metres away.
As they walked around the corner, the clowns pressed themselves against the
wall and waited for their teacher to pass by. As the poor teacher walks
round the corner, she was yet again greeted by the clowns. She jumped a few
metres up the ground and landed with a thud. The two naughty clowns laughed
their heads off. The embarrassed teacher then said," Hahaha. Very Funny."
Whereby Vanessa the clown replies cheekily, "Hahaha. You're laughing now,
aren't you?" The two clowns broke into laughter again. Their horrible
laughter was heard a few good metres away and even frightened a bird flying
overhead which caused it to land a poop-missile onto the school's beautiful
scenery. The two clowns were made to clean it up and is now still trying to
clear the sticky poop. "This is disgusting, man! I bet u arh. The bird ate
some glue and newspaper, no wonder so sticky and white and black larh." Jane
was heard to complain once.


JUZ IN: MokMaMa of Emainia DramaMaMa Threatre( EDMMT ) is punished to do a
drama for the members of the club. The reason for this punishment is
unknown. QingMaMa was heard to laugh sinisterly over MokMaMa's plight. Being
kind-hearted, JaneMaMa offers generously to help her with the
script-writing, but when asked to reveal some of the contents, JaneMaMa
avoids the interviewer using her LifeAccents book to cover her face. The
interviewer assumes that despite her kind offers, JaneMaMa was slacking and
did not write anything at all.
JUZ OUT: Daily reporter, jAnEe, is currently YET AGAIN opening another
club. It is based on writing junk like this piece of 8guaDaily article.
There is no regular pay for this job, and when asked why a job without a
salary is advertised, she replies nonchalantly," Your pay is to post all the
crap you want to. Your salary is the ability to improve your English after
just months of writing one article daily. Your job is to ensure the
amusement and satisfaction of our customers. So if you want both the job and
a salary, all I can give you is a box on your nose. If you want only the
salary, all I can give you is a box on your ear. If you want the job-title
only, all I can give is a box on your eyes. That's all I can give you. This
job is for people who derives pleasure from writing crap and is active."

Stay tuned to 8guaDaily for more news and gossips!

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Thursday, February 8, 2007

_ Welcome to the First Article of the 8guaHopeNews! _

11:37 PM

   There are currently 3 clubs up and running in 1Hope!
  The first club is famously known as " Life Accents Club " and is popular for their FANTASTIC singing during reccesses and holding the English workbook, "Life Accents" to mask up their faces when singing. They give free Concerts for 1Hope ONLY. High anticipations for this club is spread throughout the whole class.
  The second club is infamously known as "Emainia DramaMaMa Theatre." The director of this club is MS EMAINIA. Everyone who joins this club is unfortunately forced to adopt a -mama behind their real names, and sometimes even has to alter their whole or partial names to blend in.
  The third club is created by Vanessa Mok and her senior, known as "School Haters Club."
it suffered terrible lose of money due to its lack of members and is currently not recruiting. Members have not been receiving news from this unfamous club and 1 of its member, who does not wish to be named, quotes that: " The creator of this corrupt club is crumbling. I have heard NO news since its grand opening day. I suppose it has closed down and boarded up already."
 
 
JUST IN: One of the singers(who do not wish to be revealed) of LifeAccents is currently suffering a sorethroat and a blocknose, which made her voice both "sexy" and "squeaky". She is trying ways to mend it but to no avail. One fanatic fan even suggests that she sings in her new voice but the singer refuses to open her mouth to answer.
 
Tune in to 8guaNews for more gossips and news of things happening in 1Hope!


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